Australia

[zante]

From the archives.... Bear in mind these are from 2001, things have no doubt changed....

Australia
Sydney
You might think that Sydney, the biggest and most cosmopolitan Australian city, would have the stripclubs to match, sadly this is very far from the case. Unfortunately the central Sydney clubs divide into 2 categories ,bland or sleazy - both expensive. One one hand you have 3 upmarket clubs, all owned by the same group and on the other, the clubs in the Kings Cross redlight area. New South Wales has a more restrictions on its adult businesses than Victoria, with the inevitable result - sleaze and rip-offs.

Kings Cross

The archetypal red light area, mercifully concentrated into 1 or 2 streets. A neon clad excess of fast food joints, cheap hotels, restaurants, pubs, porno book shops, strip clubs and the like. Outside most of the clubs, two or three touts work the street, trying to corral likely punters to step inside. Expect to get stopped and hassled. Along the street you will see a few working girls, looking the worse for drink or drugs, or frankly, just looking worse. Assorted toughs and weather-beaten down-and-outs mix with students, back packers, and groups of lads and sports fans out on the razz.

It's a bit like a more concentrated version of Brewer Street in London's Soho, albeit with more neon, energy and a better climate. On the main strip, Porkys is the most famous strip club, but one of the upmarket clubs ( Dancers ) is just around the corner. To get here from the central harbour area, take a train or bus. Walking around alone at night is not for the faint hearted, although security has been improved, they have built a police station right in the centre . As you might have guessed, the clubs here remain unsampled by your reporter .

The Upmarket Clubs

Two of the three clubs ( Mens Gallery and Pure Platinum ) are situated in the central district of Sydney. During my visit I noticed one was advertised for sale. I am assuming they do not make much profit with Sydney's costs, and frankly seeing what poor value they offer, they don't deserve to.

Mens Gallery
92 Pitt Street
Central Sydney
Phone: 02-9232-1800
Website: www.mensgal.com .au
Admission: Aus $ 16.50
Drinks: Aus $ 6 for a bottle of local beer
Hours: Monday through to Friday 12 am to late, Saturday 6pm to late, closed Sunday

Layout: The club is situated in the basement of a large office block marked with discrete signage, as it's right in heart of the business district amongst the top names in corporate Australia. The club is quite small, reflecting prevailing real estate prices and rents. There is a cash desk at the foot of the stairs, I believe a set of toilets are here, together with some private dance rooms plus possibly another bar. The main club is past the desk on the right.

Inside, as you walk through, you see a few small dance tables, surrounded on 2 or 3 sides by chairs. A larger dance table is in front of you and the main bar to your right. Beyond the main table there is a curtained off area for the restaurant. I think there may be some more toilets along the right hand wall, before you reach the bar. There are a number of small drinks tables scattered thought the club, waitress service is available. The main bar is quite small, so unless you are fortunate, standing or sitting here is not going to be easy .

Action: The main club is topless only. Customers surrounding the main table are expected to make garter tips as a girl does her 20 minute spot. For this you will get a minute or so's attention before she moves on to the next tipster. You are meant to use Dance Dollars - these can be purchased in Aus $10 bundles from the MC's who patrol the floor, each "dollar " being Aus $2. [ The smallest Australian note is $5 ]. Dance Dollars can only be used to tip the dancers and are non refundable. You can use cash, but the club prefers not - no doubt they take a cut when the dancer has to convert them back to hard currency at the end of the night. Dancers will do a "private" dance, again topless, on one of the smaller tables for you for a song track or 2. I am unable to quote a cost as this was not tried, Aus $20 I expect.

The girls will hustle you for private dances in a so-called VIP lounge at Aus $75 a time for 15 minutes. You may have to book these at the front desk - again to allow the club to take a cut. As I entered I saw one guy doing this, he seemed to be charged only Aus $50, so I was suspicious when Aus $75 was quoted. Whilst trying to convince me, one girl took the time to explain that these were table dances not lap dances. She would be on a podium but would "lean over ", she would get fully naked and use baby lotion or oil.

When I said getting messy wasn't my thing, she brightly suggested I might like her to play with ice. After Melbourne I wasn't prepared to put up with such poor value so didn't partake. However, on reflection, I think she was genuine when quoting the cost and the overheard transaction at the front desk was something else. I believe you can double date, so more than one guy at a time is allowed.

The girls: Good, but not as good as Melbourne. Similar characteristics, probably under 25, slim, small amount of plastic, white Australians of European origin. Maybe 20 to 30 on duty but difficult to tell.

Anything else: The club offers a so called "Red Room ". I guess this is the separated area behind the curtain I saw. This offers a 3 course meal, some complimentary wine, some tipping dollars, a fully nude stage show and lingerie dressed waitresses. The price varies thought the week. $25 each Monday and Tuesday, Aus $70 Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but 2 for the price of 1 on Wednesday. They waive the entrance fee (Aus $16.50) for Monday & Tuesday entry before 2pm. Whilst not tried, a Monday to Wednesday outing here might be good value. I believe you can have table-side table dances here as well. Booking is essential as they say.

Conclusion: Any connection with the Mens Gallery in Melbourne is in name only. The main club, being topless only is poor, private dances are an expensive air dance. The Red Room intrigues but was untested.

Pure Platinum
252 Pitt Street
Central Sydney
Phone: 02-9267-4454
Website: www.pureplatinum.com.au - acts as a portal to all 3 websites in the chain.
Admission: Aus $16.50
Hours: not checked

Layout: This club is upstairs on the first floor, above a shopping precinct. The bar forms an island in the middle of the club with bar stools around it. There is the normal large dance table, but there is also a pool table and they show sporting events on a couple of wall mounted TV's. It is owned by the same people, so the format is identical - topless in the main arena, private dances in a VIP room for Aus $77. I didn't discover why its $2 more expensive. I went in the late afternoon / early evening - before 7.30 pm. It was pretty quiet, less than 20 customers and a handful of girls. I sat at the bar and watched the sport! They also have a restaurant area called The Platinum Room, I assume it follows the same format and pricing structure as the Red Room at the Mens Gallery

Conclusion: Its layout was more conducive to relaxation than the Mens Gallery. Very little private dance hustle although I think the girls were just resigned to the fact that they would sell very few.

Dancers (not visited)
36-38 Bayswater Road
Kings Cross
Sydney
Phone: 02-9368-0488
Website: www.dancers.com.au or http://members.ozemail.com.au/~grafsoft/
Hours: 7pm to late Sunday to Thursday, 6pm to 6am Friday & Saturday

This is the remaining club of the triumvirate under the same umbrella organisation. It is a short walk away from the main drag in the red light area. I assume the entrance charges and other aspects are similar .

Other Options

You may find you need to move away from the city centre and into the suburbs to find a decent club. Try www. seftonplayhouse.com.au located at 54 Clapham Road, Sefton. Take a train to Sefton in Western Sydney.

[Geoff C, July 2001]


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Melbourne
Hailed by some as the Stripclub capital of Australia and from my admittedly limited experience, it's probably true. The laws concerning stripclubs (and prostitution) vary from state to state. Melbourne being in Victoria, relaxed its prohibitions about 5 years ago and as a result the adult industry is happy to stay within the legal framework. The unsavory characters, the rip-offs, the sleaze and tackiness that tighter restrictions seem to generate are largely absent or at least out of sight. To find a club, escort agency or brothel, you simply turn to the Yellow Pages and the choice is yours. I sampled 3 of the more expensive clubs in the city centre, these tend to cater to the "suits" of burgeoning business sector, many banks and mining companies have large offices here.

The Mens Gallery, Goldfingers and Showgirls Bar 20

Lap dancing or Table dancing ?

All of these places are strip clubs rather than strip pubs and with varying degrees of excellence they offer some stage shows, private dancing in a booth or a private dance on stage or table top in public but not the UK strip pub experience of continuous shows funded by a jug collection. Booth dances and even some of the public ones involve contact, the girl will touch you but you are not meant to reciprocate - more on this later. As I understand it, lap dances are meant to be off limits but many girls circumvent this by a manoeuvre that involves straddling one of your thighs, facing away from you and by arching backwards, cradling her head on your shoulder. The touch of soft skin against yours, a flick of hair on your cheek and a cloud of sweet perfume sending your senses in to permanent overdrive that are only cured by ... ....another dance ..... Well, it worked for me!

However, with equal frequency, I had one private dance that was no more than a non contact table dance you might get in the UK (admittedly it was only the girls second day of working - ever) to another that was a full on lap dance with knee to groin action that bordered on the painful. Bear this variation in mind.

Features common to these 3 clubs

Full nudity, with alcohol. No agonising choice between booze or broads
Admission. Either Aus $7 or $14, see notes on individual clubs. Various Adult shops and garages have supplies of cards that offer reduced admission so ask around.
If there was a dress code enforced - it certainly wasn't obvious: jeans, trainers, rugby shirts or team colours - it made no difference.
Entrance may be refused if you look obviously drunk or appear over exuberant.
Beer is slightly more expensive than a normal bar but still cheap for those paid in Sterling or US Dollars. Aus $7 or so for an imported bottled beer such as Heineken, Aus $6 or so for an Australian beer - which is very good If you sit at a table in most clubs, it's possible to get waitress service; it is customary to tip them a couple of dollars a time. The drinks are normally priced. There is no obligation, but it's convenient if you don't want to break off from watching a particularly sexy dancer doing her thing.

All of these places are open 7 days a week. Start times usually from midday onwards during the week, maybe from 6pm onwards at weekends. Nothing much will happen until gone 9pm in the evening. Check their web sites or call if you intend to go in the afternoon. They will shut in the early hours: say 2 or 3 am dependent on how many patrons are still standing (and spending).

Timing is a key point: time of day and day of week appear critical to your strip experience. Melbourne Party time seems to be focussed on Friday & Saturday night, with some action on Sunday. The rest of the time is quiet. These clubs will be almost empty until 10pm or later and then fill up quickly. Early in the week there may be no stage show at all, at other times stage shows might not start until past midnight. The larger clubs compensate for this by roping parts off or closing sections during slack times; this may shut off the show stage/fantasy room/private dance booth/encounter room you were particularly looking forward to.

Private dances. There are no collections, so dancers rely on soliciting private dances. They can't afford to be reticent so expect to be hit upon hard and often. Prolonged eye contact will catch their attention almost immediately. Usually a refusal will be accepted with good grace but not always. You may have to say no several times before they get the message. There are two main types of private dance on offer: on stage in full view of the rest of the club or in a booth - which might hold several dancers and their partners. All these clubs have a number of various sized stages: these are really tables, some no bigger than you might find at home, others over 60 feet long, all with a ring of chairs around them. If you sit, the table top is about chest level with a ledge beneath it to support your drink.

The normal format is for a girl (or several depending on stage size) to do a 15-20 minute stage spot fully dressed - well, as dressed as a stripper gets - each hoping to be asked to do a private dance on stage. For Aus $20 or Aus $30, you can get a 1 or 2 song full strip "private" dance in public with her on the table top and you in a chair against the rail. Dependent on the girls athleticism, inventiveness and your cash outlay, she will endeavor to provide some level of contact be it boobs in the face, legs around your neck, head on your shoulders or foot in the groin plus some pretty explicit leg separation. Don't try to touch, it's best to sit still - well, as still as you can, to avoid misunderstanding. I realise it's difficult if a drop dead gorgeous supermodel is running their fingers gently across your cheek and lips and breathing softly in your ear.

Clearly the more you spend the more you get, but don't spend more than Aus$50 dollars, and only spend this much if a private dance booth is not available - see my comments on timings. Watching other peoples dances or your own Aus$20 sampler might indicate which girls deserve your life savings. The girl will not be allowed to leave the stage/table during her slot, so if a booth is your thing you will have to wait, but tell her you would like a dance later, on a busy night in a large club you may never see her again. Prices for the private dances in a booth are similar or slightly higher, you might get a cool reaction if you only offered Aus$20. Don't get suckered by girls who say off-stage private dances start at Aus$50 - they don't. Try Aus $30 to start with.

The Lighting. Following the American fashion, these clubs are dimly lit. So anyone who has ruined their eyesight under the bedcovers as a youth is likely to see very little. The only exception being the main stage at The Mens Gallery.

The Girls. An almost universally sensational group of young, slim, mostly white Melbournians of west & east European extraction. The majority were natural, silicone free and under 25. In the clubs I saw very few Asians, a sprinkling of Latin Americans but only one black girl who may have had some Aboriginal blood. The clubs are a reflection of the female half of the city, taking a walk on the street will confirm that Melbourne has many pretty girls. If I had to rank for sex appeal, it would be:

1. Mens Gallery
2. Showgirls Bar 20
3. Goldfingers.
though Goldfingers is at a disadvantage, as I only went on Sunday, the others Friday & Saturday.
Your researcher discovered that the clubs supply costumes for the dancers, which at first sounds laudable. The downside is they supply too few, so most girls keep the same outfit on (or off) all night, this is disappointing as I personally like to see what suits a girl best. Is it the short, the tight, the thigh split, the décolletage or the see-through? It has the slight advantage that you are able to recognise your intended more easily in the gloom.

The Clubs

Showgirls Bar 20
46 King Street
Melbourne
Phone: 9629-4684
Website: www.bar20.com.au
Prices: Admission Aus $7 before 9pm, Aus $14 thereafter. Freely available Concession cards offer free entrance for 2 before 9pm and Aus $7 later. Local beers around Aus $6 a bottle
Travel note: of the 3, this one is closest to Flinders Railway station, a 10 minute walk away

Layout: This place has the slightly frayed appearance of a building long overdue redecoration. It is the smallest of the 3 listed here. As you go in the pay kiosk is on you right, with a door to the toilets next to it. There are 3 floors, the main stage is upstairs. This may be the only area open - see my note on Timings above. The ground floor has a bar opposite the pay booth and there are steps down to a basement Fantasy room area which also has a bar. As you reach the top of the stairs the main bar is to the right, with more toilet facilities nearby. The main stage is offset to the right along the back wall. There is also a small dance table, another bar to the left plus pool table and private dance booths front and back. Several chairs and tables are available but not enough when it gets crowded. When it gets busy, the pool table is pressed into service as another small table. A waitress service is provided .

Action: The format is for 3 or 4 girls to come to the main stage and gently gyrate fully dressed hoping to solicit a private dance (nude or topless) from a customer sitting around the side. After 10-15 minutes, the DJ would announce their names, they would step off the stage into the club to be replaced by another foursome. A single girl does the same routine on the small dance table. I would estimate about 30 girls were working at a time. When not occupied, the girls cruise the floor hustling for private dances. They can be quite persistent, and many won't take your first no for an answer. As the girls are so used to making the first move, you may get a pleasant reaction if you do the asking. With a bit of luck this might carry through to the dance itself.

Late on in the evening, around 10.30 pm, they hold a parade of all the girls and later still (maybe past midnight) they have main stage shows. These are infrequent, the only one I saw started at about 1am, the DJ said the next was an hours time. It consisted of a 20 minute solo performance from a girl who was both an excellent pole dancer and a frustrated actress. To the theme of Madonna's Material Girl and similar ,she acted out a spoilt little rich girl full strip routine, involving a bottle of champagne, an ice bucket, an evening dress that got rather damp, a string of pearls and a couch. Her finale was to dive off the stage, naked and soaking wet, to land on the lap of the guy sitting next to me. Brilliant.

Private dancing: The private rooms on the main floor hold about 4 or 5 guys and their gals at a squeeze, so the dance is not strictly private. I found the ones at the back next to the main stage more appealing. These booth dances give the girls a lot more scope than the stage/table top ones do, but your mileage will vary. The main factor is the girl herself and how she feels, you may have a great private dance on Friday evening but the Saturday version with the same girl could be several degrees cooler. I generally paid Aus$50, but Aus$30 is sufficient and they may be happy to accept Aus$20 on a quiet night. If you like what you get, you could try one of the Fantasy Rooms in the basement. These are curtained off alcoves with sofas and chairs where you can get a 1:1 dance. The girl brings a 15 minute cassette tape with her for music. You may have to spend a little time until one becomes free, but there is a bar and she may keep you company whilst you wait. The costs are Aus$5 to the house and Aus$50 to the dancer. You may find your lady goes no further than before, but at least you are alone together, and conversation is a little easier.

In conclusion - a nice intimate club with the emphasis on private dancing.

The Mens Gallery
601 Lonsdale Street
Melbourne
Phone: 9670-0331
Web site: www.mensgallery.com.au
How to get there: Take an uphill walk from Bar 20 (turn right as you exit) up Kings Street to the point where Lonsdale Street crosses it, about 15-20 minutes .The club is on the corner almost immediately on the left, Goldfingers is across the street.
Prices: Aus $7 before 9pm, Aus $14 thereafter. Special offers available but I didn't find any of their cards. Local beers Aus $6.50 a bottle

Layout: Once past the pay kiosk, you go through double doors into this vast well appointed club. It's dark, but once your sight returns you see a series of easy chairs and tables to your right, together with a small bar and an infrequently used dance table. A set of toilets are along the left hand wall. In the distance you will see the club narrows as on either side there are wide staircases leading to the upper floor. Beyond the stairs but still on the ground floor are two larger dance tables, the main downstairs bar is here to the right, together with pool tables and the kitchen. Actually the food is quite good (most Australian food is). Most of the downstairs action happens on the tables opposite the main bar, not in the ante-room you first walk through. All of the dance tables have rings of chairs around them, plus there are also several little drinks tables with seating.

If the upstairs is open, you really must see it. About 11pm Friday & Saturday it was, but it remained closed all night Monday. Pride of place is an enormous dance table some 60 feet long with two poles and seating all around it. There are long bars either side against both walls. At the table end nearest the stairs, (where the MC stands) there are entrances leading to sets of dance booths and more toilets. This upper floor stage area is one of the few places in Melbourne club land where is is bright enough to see. They offer a waitress service but if its full you will have to wait awhile for attention.

Action: The upstairs room rocks on a Friday or Saturday night, it must be the hottest place in town. If there is better erotic entertainment to be had in Melbourne, I didn't find it. If its closed, the Mens Gallery is still good but a completely different experience. The show on offer is a non stop sequence of three distinct phases. Firstly, 7 or 8 or so girls do a fully dressed shimmy on the long table punting for full nude table top private dances for Aus$20 or $30. Then 8 chairs are placed on stage and for Aus$10, the first 8 on the stage (and on one occasion a girl) get a "private" dance from next eight girls due on stage. As this occurs in full view under stage lighting, its as about as far from private as you can get, but is fabulous entertainment for those too slow to climb up. Lastly the chairs are cleared and a dancer does an extended solo spot. As this is a table with poles not a true stage, her options are limited, but once they covered the table with plastic sheeting and provided a couple of guys with water pistols.

This sequence repeats itself through out the night with a full parade of all the girls at some point, the MC announcing who's who as they step on stage. There must be at least 50 girls on the busy nights, maybe 20 or so earlier in the week. All extremely attractive, there wasn't one I didn't fancy to some degree.These stage shows give you an opportunity to choose a private dancer, especially as you can see her in action either as a Aus$10 special, or as a table top private dance.

Private Dances: The first floor area directly above the ground floor ante-room is a private dance area. They have built a number of small cubicles, rather like a series of changing room cubicles you might find at a municipal swimming pool. They are of somewhat basic construction, thin paneling and a plastic chair but no door. Here you can have a 1:1 private dance in cramped circumstances. You are alone, you tend to be hidden from view but she is visible - a security and control measure for passing patrols, or so dancers can see which booths are occupied? There a few larger booths, called "Fantasy Rooms". A misnomer, I don't see how a cushion for your chair, a couch for her and a naff print reproduction pinned to the wall turn a shower cubicle into a fantasy room, but there is no extra charge for this.

The dances at the Mens Gallery here are good value with the right girl - again I was paying Aus$50, but I think they would accept Aus$30 or $40. A couple of times I was invited to touch, one girl placed my hands on her midriff covering them with hers. I discovered you are not meant to move them, on stroking her with my thumb, she grabbed them with a vice like grip. Another asked me to stroke her back, this was cleverly done as she made sure this was out of view to anyone outside the booth. Trying to touch any sexual hot spots is an absolute non-starter. It is a bit confusing for us poor punters, I lightly reciprocated one girls facial caresses only to be roundly told-off, others appeared to quite like this. If the cubicle area is full, you may be taken downstairs for a not so private dance in a chair along the right hand wall of the ante-room you walked through on the way in. It is dark here but it's still not the same thing. If the first floor is shut, there are no cubicles, so you have to make do with a stage side dance or the darkened ante-room.

In conclusion: Don't miss an all action Friday or Saturday night around the main stage. The private dance surroundings are not as congenial as Bar 20 or Goldfingers but the girls are the best (by a small margin).

Goldfingers
Kilkenny Hotel
584 Lonsdale St.
Melbourne
Phone: 9670-9457
Web site: www.goldfingers.com.au
How to get there: On the corner of Lonsdale St. and King Street, diagonally opposite The Mens Gallery
Prices: Entrance Aus $14, Concession cards offer Aus $7 before 9pm

Layout: The largest and most luxurious club I visited. Once inside you walk up a wide staircase to the first floor. You arrive in a large anteroom with large dance table. Turning right you pass an entrance on the right to a bar and dance area .Walk straight past this to get to the main bar and stage area. The main bar is on the right hand side. Beside it are two pool tables, and opposite there is a dance table. The toilets are located behind the main bar through the door at the end of it on the right. At the back, to the left of the main bar is a proscenium stage. The other bar area (hard right as you reach the top of the stairs) is extremely dark and leads to a large stage table, behind that are two private dance booths holding about 4 dancers each and their clients. They are fronted by smoked glass, dimly lit but very comfortable. I asked one dancer for somewhere brighter, so she took me behind the main stage to an open area with moveable podiums for private dancing. As it was meant to be shut, we were by ourselves.

Action: I went on Sunday, so the little action I saw is probably not a reflection of the club itself. There was no main stage show. However some girls enliven proceeding by playing nude pool, I guess as a loss leader to encourage private dance offers. As the club was quiet, the hustle was intense. The quality of the girls was highly variable, from very cute and fragrant to one with noticeable bad breath.

Private dances: To be had stage side at any of the tables, behind the main stage ,or in the booths at the back of second bar area. The mileage varied considerably, from a full-on lap dance you might get at a private party in London to an air dance for the same outlay (Aus $50). This was the only true lap dance I had in Melbourne. Touching in the booths seemed less of a no-no, I saw one guy vigorously massaging a dancers feet and calves ,the bouncer saw him do this but to my surprise didn't interrupt, but don't try anything too overtly sexual. Start by placing her hand in yours palm to palm to test the reaction first.

In conclusion: It wasn't at its best on Sunday, other days untested.

[Geoff C, July 2001]


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In Australia the laws associated with stripclubs are more lenient than what you would find in London. In each state the level of exposure and contact can vary and I will speak mainly of Adelaide (known as the City of Churches) in South Australia. Back in the late 1980's, there was only about 3-4 clubs, in the last 2-3 years it has tripled or quadrupled.

Free Admission (or at least cheap):
At the lower end of the scale you have clubs which probably more closely resemble places like Browns or Metropolis. They are the cheaper form of clubs and are usually free to enter, but if they do charge, usually it's a nominal 4 quid. As far as facilities go, they can range from being very vacant of anything resembling proper seating and comfort, to those that are nicely decorated and look professional. Drinks are the same as hotels, about 1.40 pounds for a bottle of local beer. There will be a small stage somewhere in the main room and on this you'll have the girls stripping, some performers will do proper strips, others will just sway back and forth until they are given money or strip club money, like your vouchers here. Table dances can be as low as 4 quid to as high as 8 quid. For lap dances, which are no-touching dances, but where the girls dance between your legs, sit on you, move around on you, touch you, beat you about the head with their breasts, it's 8-12 quid a time. The dances (table and lap) will last for one song. Also, you normally don't get hassled too much for table dances.

Examples:
Club 108, Hot Rock and Jules are all in Hindley Street and range from pretty trashy to acceptable. The Firm is on North Terrace, just one street over from Hindley Street and is opposite the casino. This does cost to get in, 4 quid, but you get 4 quid in strip money and a drink voucher. I'd recommend the Firm for this price range. Normally there is no prostitution at these places, but sometimes you may be offered some extra services from some girls.

Pay-Per-View
This is where you are moving in my circle, with regards to places to go and there are a few to choose from. The place I'm going to talk about and recommend as the best place in Adelaide, and arguably Australia, is the Crazy Horse, 141A Hindley Street. This is a professionally run stripclub, and since new management a few years ago, entrance fees which ranged from 2 quid to 7 quid depending on when you entered, have now been set at a flat 4 quid. For this you get quite a sizeable stage area which could seat 100 people. The stage is quite large and you will get professional strip teases with the girls dressed in all manner of things - evening dresses, leather outfits, school girls, nurses, cowgirls, indians, french maids and various miscellaneous outfits. The stage shows are free and you're not required to hand the girls money on stage, they are paid to do the shows by the owners. The girls make their money mainly from table dances and lap dances. The tables dances cost you 8 quid for a single song and the girls will go from fully dressed (well, what little they do wear) to completely naked, none of this topless only stuff.

As for lap dances, they will cost you 20 quid and last 3 songs, so around 12 minutes. You can have them out in the open in the stage area, or you can pay a one time fee on the night of 4 quid, to go to the private VIP area behind the stage for the lap dances. Behind the stage, which is backed by a one-way mirror which you can see through from the VIP area, is just a more intimate area with wildly coloured lounges/sofas and chairs for the private dances. Once again these are no-touching affairs. Same deal as above for lap dances, they will dance in front of you, between your legs, on you, touching you, rub their breasts against your face, spread their legs if you like that, play with their breasts, lick or suck their own nipples and so on. Each lap dance will finish with them kissing you on the cheek...

It is usually more expensive in these places for drinks, so expect to pay around 2 pounds per bottle of beer. It might not sound like much, but when people are use to paying half that in pubs, sometimes that can put off the poorer punters back home. This club usually holds the more prominent Miss Nude Australia type competitions and regularly has guest performers from Canada and the United States, where there are sister Crazy Horses clubs. At 11:00pm you will have all 20+ girls on stage at once. It is unlikely you'll encounter prostitution at this club as it is a professional establishment. However, it has been known to happen, but to my knowledge, this is something that is being done without the condonement of the club itself (ie. no sex on premises). I would highly recommend this club and here are my picks :

Ariel (25 y.o, 4'11", shoulder length blonde) - recently won Miss Petite in South Australia, lovely figure obviously, no silicon, very smart girl, good conversation too.
Jade (20 y.o, 5'1", should length blonde) - her and Ariel are my personal favourites, Jade is quiet, shy, very innocent looking, stunning bum on her, no silicon, very intimate dancer.
Melanie (22ish, 5'0", shoulder length reddy-brown, part Maltese) - she is especially good at licking and sucking her own nipples, pierced tongue, no silicon, very sexy.
Tanya (25ish, 5'10", long blonde hair) - she's very funny, very sexy dancer, will try to please you by really grinding away on your lap if you know what I mean, lovely girl.
There's quite a range of girls there... blondes, brunettes, not so many redheads, sometimes there is a black girl or an asian girl, not forgetting asians in Australia are Malay or Vietnamese or Japanese, not Indian or Pakistani. The Crazy Horse opens at 9:00pm (maybe 8:00pm) and closes around 5:30am in the morning, which is why I get home at 7:00am!

Gentlemen's Clubs
This is the upper scale of the strip club scene in Australia. You will sometimes be required to pay to get in, usually around 8 quid, but normally these are places for business lunches or dinners and not so much just straight strip clubs. There are a few in Adelaide - Penthouse, Checkmates, Cobbs - and usually you get hit during for meals, about 8-10 quid for meals, which is about 2-4 times what South Australians would pay for a meal in a normal hotel. It's about the most expensive in Adelaide.

Other States
The club scene in Melbourne and Sydney is similar to Adelaide, with Sydney's Kings Cross area having a tendancy to merge stripclubs with prostitution. However, in Melbourne there are some really nice places to go, much like the Crazy Horse in Adelaide. The Men's Gallery in Melbourne is a fantastic place, it is on two floors, the bottom floor being a bar area with lots of tables and lounges to sit and drink at or watch girls do table dances or to get lap dances at. Upstairs is the main stage and the same deal as the Crazy Horse with regards to shows. There is also a private area with little cubicles and so on where you get private lap dances. The cost of a lap dance here is about 8 quid for 3 songs, a real bargain. The rules about no-touching are bit more relaxed here in that you can't touch them much yourself, but the girls will normally glide your hands over various parts of their bodies, but usually restricted to hips, thighs and buttocks at best. It's a definite place to go if you are in Melbourne. It opens about 8:30pm and closes about 11:00am the next day. I've gone in at around 9:00am before and walked out at 7:00am and been blinded by the sun light, it's a good place to spend a night. The cost of drinks is not prohibitive either.

Just for those who are interested in widening their knowledge...
Prostitution is illegal in Western Australia, South Australia, Northern Territory, Queensland and Tasmania. Although it is illegal, it is certainly still around as escort agencies are abound and adverts in the local papers are nothing short of obvious. A note on Queensland, it is a notoriously backward state with regards sexual advertising and even magazines available in the rest of the country have to be heavily censored within this state. As for Tasmania, well, homosexuality only recently became legal. That says it all...

It is legal within Victoria, New South Wales and Canberra, home of the politicians and foreign diplomats. In these states licensed brothels are the go and advertised within the yellow pages. You can expect to pay approximately 60 pounds for sex.

If anyone has any questions about these places, feel free to email me at sartax@hotmail.com

Chris


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The scene in Sydney has some peculiarities You may or may not know that prosititution is legal in Oz and there are some "mega" brothels here with the same levels of luxury as a five star hotel. Not really my thing to be honest as I am happy to look but not touch. The strip scene follows a similar pattern with high class establishments and the odd pub which puts on some girls at lunchtimes.

The two main venues here are Men's Gallery in the CBD (Central Business District) of Sydney, and Dancers situated in Kings Cross. Both are owned by the same people and have a similar feel. I would say that Kings Cross is the rough part of town. Lots of low-rent strip bars, brothels and sex shops and an intimidating atmosphere after dark. There is open drug dealing on the streets and the chances of getting mugged or worse are quite high if you don't know the area or are not particularly street savvy.

Men's Gallery is a good starting point. Situated in Pitt St in the City, it tends to cater for the business crowd and the clientelle are mainly "suits". Entrance at lunch time is free but there is a $20 entrance fee in the evenings [The current exchange rate is about $1.00 = 40 pence.] The ambience is quite dark with a square raised stage in the centre of the Green Room with seating around all sides and stools right by the stage giving a great view. You buy MG dollars on a $1.00 for one dollar basis with a minimum of $10.00 worth. Drinks are serviced by hostesses (usually dressed in lingerie) and are pretty competitive. About $5.00 for a beer. There is a small restaurant area with a view of the stage as well but the food is pricey and in the "chicken in a basket" category.

You reward the girls by placing dollars in strategically placed garter belts, but tounching is at a minimum and I have seen people ejected for trying to cop a free feel. There is no pint glass circulating To be honest you can hang back and save your money. I have felt it better to sit by the stage and pay about $5.00 over the course of a dance (which is approx one song). The girls will give you more attention that way and will give a good wiggle six inched from your face.

There are private booths at the back with curtains for privacy. This can be expensive and special offers are there during quiet times in the afternoons. A 15 minute private lap dance can go to about $35 at the cheapest to about $75 which is a bit steep. The girls strip to fully nude but there is NO touching. On the main stage the girls are always topless although some don't go nude unless it is for a private encounter.

The girls range in quality, but I haven't seen under a 7 and have seen quite a few 10's there. Some of them are absolutely stunning. Penthouse centrefold quality and quite a few of them model internationally. Quite a lot of implants over here, so if you like exaggerated bosoms then this is the place to be...

Cameron